Celebrity crisis worsens. Introduced celebrity species breeding at alarming rate.

Australia's' Celebrity crisis is worsening every year, according to television statisticians.
The huge growth in the number of Celebrities over the last ten years, has caused some community groups to ask for drastic measures to be taken.
"Our country just simply does not have the resources to feed so many new hungry egos'." A Celebrity crisis manager warned. "With the new breeding grounds of reality shows like Big Brother and Australian Idol, it will be impossible to stop the increase in number and to accommodate their needs. Even now, Celebrities are running rampant across television. New shows have been invented to accommodate them, like the late night game shows and celebrity survivor shows, but these things just encourage the growth in numbers."

Celebrities have been a problem in Australia for many years, but the current breeding rates are alarming and the new species that are evolving are dangerous.
"The Big Brother species of Celebrity is particularly dangerous", claims a leading media scientist. "They cost very little to create, do not require a talent and they are pretty much media whores. The problem escalates when we start to run out of room in the media. We are already seeing these new Celebrities filling out guest spots on morning news and radio programs. What happens next is they start hosting current affairs shows, serious documentaries and Arts programs."

It is estimated that Bert Newton, alone, has consumed 20,000 hours of Television time in the past forty years. Some analysts say feeding his ego has already caused irreversible damage to the Australian TV environment.
"People become attached to celebrities like Bert Newton even though they don't know him. After a few years they become impossible to remove as they can set up a nest anywhere. Now his offspring have become celebrities and the cycle goes on."

A leading political analyst estimates that by the year 2015, up to %60 of politicians will come from celebrity breeding grounds. "The problem is that Celebrity breeding grounds are popping up everywhere. Even second rate politicians are being turned into celebrities and then recycled back into politics. Then we have to consider actors, musicians and sport stars. As Australia wins more Gold Medals, have more number one singles and win more Oscars, we increase the Celebrity pool and thus the Celebrity politician pool."

Some Radical groups have made claims that something must be done. A group calling itself F.A.R.C. (Federation against revolting celebrities), have called on the Government to cull celebrities.
"We simply have to cut numbers", claimed a FARC spokesman. "If we simply set a few traps at Australian Idol and Big Brother auditions, we can catch the most vile of the species. We would then have to target Television studios. Celebrities are easy to catch as they are not very intelligent and their egos' have a huge appetite. A simple mirror in a cage can easily snare a minor celebrity."
"Our problem with getting a cull initiated, is that people seem to love celebrities. Some people become so infatuated with these dangerous creatures they even go out of their way to protect them. It's a shame people don't know what these people are like in their natural environment. They are terrible!"