Ian Botham recently wrote an article for London's "News of the World", (possibly the worst newspaper in the English speaking world), that Australia's cricket is a "Dads' Army". He says the only thing standing in the way of an English Victory is England.
Well Ian Botham can kiss my arse!
Ian Botham is one of those strange anomalies in sport; a great player, but an insipid commentator. He is pretty much all ego and no brain.
I have here the new words to a familiar song. Hopefully we will hear it this Summer.
Please feel free to sing along.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDDING FREDDIE FLINTOFF
IF YOU THINK YOU'LL MAKE SOME RUNS
WE ARE THE BOYS WHO WILL STOP YOUR LITTLE GAME
WE ARE THE BOYS WHO WILL WIN THE ASHES AGAIN
CAUSE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDDING FREDDIE FLINTOFF
IF YOU THINK AUSTRALIA'S DONE
GLENN McGRATH, WELL HE WILL STAR
HE'LL GET 8 FOR 21
SHANE WARNE BOWLS AT EVENING
WITH FIGURES 2 FOR 1
( Chorus)
SO WATCH OUT MR BOTHAM
YOU HAVE MET YOUR MATCH IN US
IF YOU THINK YOU'LL TAKE THE ASHES
WE'RE AFRAID THAT YOU'LL BE CRUSHED
(Chorus)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Celebrity crisis worsens. Introduced celebrity species breeding at alarming rate.
Australia's' Celebrity crisis is worsening every year, according to television statisticians.
The huge growth in the number of Celebrities over the last ten years, has caused some community groups to ask for drastic measures to be taken.
"Our country just simply does not have the resources to feed so many new hungry egos'." A Celebrity crisis manager warned. "With the new breeding grounds of reality shows like Big Brother and Australian Idol, it will be impossible to stop the increase in number and to accommodate their needs. Even now, Celebrities are running rampant across television. New shows have been invented to accommodate them, like the late night game shows and celebrity survivor shows, but these things just encourage the growth in numbers."
Celebrities have been a problem in Australia for many years, but the current breeding rates are alarming and the new species that are evolving are dangerous.
"The Big Brother species of Celebrity is particularly dangerous", claims a leading media scientist. "They cost very little to create, do not require a talent and they are pretty much media whores. The problem escalates when we start to run out of room in the media. We are already seeing these new Celebrities filling out guest spots on morning news and radio programs. What happens next is they start hosting current affairs shows, serious documentaries and Arts programs."
It is estimated that Bert Newton, alone, has consumed 20,000 hours of Television time in the past forty years. Some analysts say feeding his ego has already caused irreversible damage to the Australian TV environment.
"People become attached to celebrities like Bert Newton even though they don't know him. After a few years they become impossible to remove as they can set up a nest anywhere. Now his offspring have become celebrities and the cycle goes on."
A leading political analyst estimates that by the year 2015, up to %60 of politicians will come from celebrity breeding grounds. "The problem is that Celebrity breeding grounds are popping up everywhere. Even second rate politicians are being turned into celebrities and then recycled back into politics. Then we have to consider actors, musicians and sport stars. As Australia wins more Gold Medals, have more number one singles and win more Oscars, we increase the Celebrity pool and thus the Celebrity politician pool."
Some Radical groups have made claims that something must be done. A group calling itself F.A.R.C. (Federation against revolting celebrities), have called on the Government to cull celebrities.
"We simply have to cut numbers", claimed a FARC spokesman. "If we simply set a few traps at Australian Idol and Big Brother auditions, we can catch the most vile of the species. We would then have to target Television studios. Celebrities are easy to catch as they are not very intelligent and their egos' have a huge appetite. A simple mirror in a cage can easily snare a minor celebrity."
"Our problem with getting a cull initiated, is that people seem to love celebrities. Some people become so infatuated with these dangerous creatures they even go out of their way to protect them. It's a shame people don't know what these people are like in their natural environment. They are terrible!"
The huge growth in the number of Celebrities over the last ten years, has caused some community groups to ask for drastic measures to be taken.
"Our country just simply does not have the resources to feed so many new hungry egos'." A Celebrity crisis manager warned. "With the new breeding grounds of reality shows like Big Brother and Australian Idol, it will be impossible to stop the increase in number and to accommodate their needs. Even now, Celebrities are running rampant across television. New shows have been invented to accommodate them, like the late night game shows and celebrity survivor shows, but these things just encourage the growth in numbers."
Celebrities have been a problem in Australia for many years, but the current breeding rates are alarming and the new species that are evolving are dangerous.
"The Big Brother species of Celebrity is particularly dangerous", claims a leading media scientist. "They cost very little to create, do not require a talent and they are pretty much media whores. The problem escalates when we start to run out of room in the media. We are already seeing these new Celebrities filling out guest spots on morning news and radio programs. What happens next is they start hosting current affairs shows, serious documentaries and Arts programs."
It is estimated that Bert Newton, alone, has consumed 20,000 hours of Television time in the past forty years. Some analysts say feeding his ego has already caused irreversible damage to the Australian TV environment.
"People become attached to celebrities like Bert Newton even though they don't know him. After a few years they become impossible to remove as they can set up a nest anywhere. Now his offspring have become celebrities and the cycle goes on."
A leading political analyst estimates that by the year 2015, up to %60 of politicians will come from celebrity breeding grounds. "The problem is that Celebrity breeding grounds are popping up everywhere. Even second rate politicians are being turned into celebrities and then recycled back into politics. Then we have to consider actors, musicians and sport stars. As Australia wins more Gold Medals, have more number one singles and win more Oscars, we increase the Celebrity pool and thus the Celebrity politician pool."
Some Radical groups have made claims that something must be done. A group calling itself F.A.R.C. (Federation against revolting celebrities), have called on the Government to cull celebrities.
"We simply have to cut numbers", claimed a FARC spokesman. "If we simply set a few traps at Australian Idol and Big Brother auditions, we can catch the most vile of the species. We would then have to target Television studios. Celebrities are easy to catch as they are not very intelligent and their egos' have a huge appetite. A simple mirror in a cage can easily snare a minor celebrity."
"Our problem with getting a cull initiated, is that people seem to love celebrities. Some people become so infatuated with these dangerous creatures they even go out of their way to protect them. It's a shame people don't know what these people are like in their natural environment. They are terrible!"
Monday, November 06, 2006
They're under Stalins' orders...Red flag flashing...
It is the 60th Anniversary since my great horse, Russia, won the Melbourne Cup. My love of anniversaries has inspired me to give some very important, but probably futile instructions. (much like my ruling days, but we'll keep that to ourselves).
Picking the winner of a horse race in my day was a simple affair.
I would look over all the horses in the race, decide on which one I wanted to win and that horse would win.
Without fail.
These days it is much more difficult to create the desired outcome. The only fun I have these days is trying to blindly rely on luck and fragmented logic. A bit like a S11 conspiracy nut.
Well here goes.
This years cup seems to be one of the more tighter fields.
Makybe Diva was pretty much a certainty the last few years,taking the fun out of the punting. This year should see a cluttered field and competition for postion will be rough. I would like to think that experience will count, but I think it will open up opportunities for some outsiders.
Oh crap, I'm just talking crap!
I like On a Jeune, it's Geelong Cup run wasn't brilliant, but will appreciate the longer distance and was runner-up last year.
Pop Rock is one of the two Japanese Horses and is good over the distance. Did not get a great run at Caulfield and will improve on that.
Geordieland is a UK stayer, who recently ran second to equal favorite Yaets at the Two mile. He drops down four Kilos and isn't here for a laugh.
My big tip is the rank outsider Zabeat. I have linked a story from NZ, that explains that the horse might only like big occasions. The bloody horse is a Hustler!!
I've gone a couple of bucks each-way on each and put them in a box trifecta.
Low investment, possible high return.
But most likely, will do my balls like everyone else.
Good Luck and happy punting.
Picking the winner of a horse race in my day was a simple affair.
I would look over all the horses in the race, decide on which one I wanted to win and that horse would win.
Without fail.
These days it is much more difficult to create the desired outcome. The only fun I have these days is trying to blindly rely on luck and fragmented logic. A bit like a S11 conspiracy nut.
Well here goes.
This years cup seems to be one of the more tighter fields.
Makybe Diva was pretty much a certainty the last few years,taking the fun out of the punting. This year should see a cluttered field and competition for postion will be rough. I would like to think that experience will count, but I think it will open up opportunities for some outsiders.
Oh crap, I'm just talking crap!
I like On a Jeune, it's Geelong Cup run wasn't brilliant, but will appreciate the longer distance and was runner-up last year.
Pop Rock is one of the two Japanese Horses and is good over the distance. Did not get a great run at Caulfield and will improve on that.
Geordieland is a UK stayer, who recently ran second to equal favorite Yaets at the Two mile. He drops down four Kilos and isn't here for a laugh.
My big tip is the rank outsider Zabeat. I have linked a story from NZ, that explains that the horse might only like big occasions. The bloody horse is a Hustler!!
I've gone a couple of bucks each-way on each and put them in a box trifecta.
Low investment, possible high return.
But most likely, will do my balls like everyone else.
Good Luck and happy punting.
World Tour gets dangerous. Ethiopia
As my World tour slowly creeps along, it has mostly been a pleasant affair. While things got nasty in Afghanistan, fun was to be had in Bangladesh, Canada and Denmark.
Oh well, now for some trouble.
Ethiopia is heading towards an absolute Shit Storm of Katrina proportion. If the news is correct, we could be hearing more about full scale war and insurgence in this area. It seems the Jihad called by Somali war lords, is cranking up.
I predict big news from here soon.
If you check an Atlas of the world and find the border regions between Islamic and non-Islamic areas, you are pretty certain to find a dangerous place on Earth.
Right across Africa, Kashmir, Thailand, throughout Indonesia, The Balkans etc. you will find no end of strife in these zones.
Ethiopia is caught in a huge vice.
Somali warlords, Eritrea and lets not forget nearby Sudan.
The form guide suggests, this Bronco is about to bolt out of the gates and go crazy. I'll put a small wager on it.
Oh well, now for some trouble.
Ethiopia is heading towards an absolute Shit Storm of Katrina proportion. If the news is correct, we could be hearing more about full scale war and insurgence in this area. It seems the Jihad called by Somali war lords, is cranking up.
I predict big news from here soon.
If you check an Atlas of the world and find the border regions between Islamic and non-Islamic areas, you are pretty certain to find a dangerous place on Earth.
Right across Africa, Kashmir, Thailand, throughout Indonesia, The Balkans etc. you will find no end of strife in these zones.
Ethiopia is caught in a huge vice.
Somali warlords, Eritrea and lets not forget nearby Sudan.
The form guide suggests, this Bronco is about to bolt out of the gates and go crazy. I'll put a small wager on it.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I hope we destroy them on Boxing Day.
Poms.
They've been everywhere throughout my life.
Room mates, girlfriends, work mates, team mates, clients, confidants.
Pretty much the same as Australians.
Generally a good bunch.
But there is something about Poms and their new culture vultures that gives me the running shits!!
I wish I could put my finger on it, but I'll just whinge like a pom about them and you might get an idea.
The BBC TV series "Spooks" apparently rates its arse off in the UK. A recent episode focused on an Isreali terrorist group pretending to be Al-Qaeda!!
Yes, it has got that Barmy!!
Just read the link and find out.
Questions are being put on the BBC about a recuring cycle of Bias. More particularly on it's news and current affairs, but increasingly the finger is being pointed at it's Drama department.
The BBC, much like the ABC, has had a conga-line of socialist suckholes running it's direction for a good 30 years. They have tended to push a strange Anti-Government agenda, that takes on strange nuances.
Things like:
A recent episode of "Robin Hood" had him reading the Quran.
The series "Rome", was seen as a metaphor of the corruption of Modern Western society.
"Spooks" is taking on Anti-Semitic overtones.
I noticed that resident Australian Blog Arse-wipe, Mr Lefty, was salivating at the prospect of watching the first episode of "Rome". I watched 5 minutes and could smell the lefty overtones quickly. I was happy it was pulled from the air as quickly as it was!!
As I said, I don't know what it is, but their is a feel about the BBC and ABC that really irks me.
Maybe it is because Karl Marx was buried in London, maybe it is a mass-psychological backlash after ruling the world, I wish I knew. Maybe someone can put their finger on it. Let me know.
Until then, LETS CRUSH THE POMS THIS SUMMER !!!!
For imposing their vile, soft-cock, lefty, media crap.
They've been everywhere throughout my life.
Room mates, girlfriends, work mates, team mates, clients, confidants.
Pretty much the same as Australians.
Generally a good bunch.
But there is something about Poms and their new culture vultures that gives me the running shits!!
I wish I could put my finger on it, but I'll just whinge like a pom about them and you might get an idea.
The BBC TV series "Spooks" apparently rates its arse off in the UK. A recent episode focused on an Isreali terrorist group pretending to be Al-Qaeda!!
Yes, it has got that Barmy!!
Just read the link and find out.
Questions are being put on the BBC about a recuring cycle of Bias. More particularly on it's news and current affairs, but increasingly the finger is being pointed at it's Drama department.
The BBC, much like the ABC, has had a conga-line of socialist suckholes running it's direction for a good 30 years. They have tended to push a strange Anti-Government agenda, that takes on strange nuances.
Things like:
A recent episode of "Robin Hood" had him reading the Quran.
The series "Rome", was seen as a metaphor of the corruption of Modern Western society.
"Spooks" is taking on Anti-Semitic overtones.
I noticed that resident Australian Blog Arse-wipe, Mr Lefty, was salivating at the prospect of watching the first episode of "Rome". I watched 5 minutes and could smell the lefty overtones quickly. I was happy it was pulled from the air as quickly as it was!!
As I said, I don't know what it is, but their is a feel about the BBC and ABC that really irks me.
Maybe it is because Karl Marx was buried in London, maybe it is a mass-psychological backlash after ruling the world, I wish I knew. Maybe someone can put their finger on it. Let me know.
Until then, LETS CRUSH THE POMS THIS SUMMER !!!!
For imposing their vile, soft-cock, lefty, media crap.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
